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If dogs and cats had live journals.



Exerpt from a dogs live journal.

8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon - Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!





Excerpts from a cat's live journal.

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.


Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top
of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on
their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about
what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my
confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this
is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time!

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lazyfox
Feb. 6th, 2004 12:32 pm (UTC)
That is why I love cats sooooooo much :D
tooling
Feb. 9th, 2004 03:31 am (UTC)
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

I laughed out loud at that! Too funny. :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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